.

Thoughts running through my head while in conversation with my father.



I don't want to go to a foster home. I don't want you to call cps. I don't want you to cause our family any more problems. We can get through this. We are strong. We have had to be. I say I don't care about my mother, I put on a tough facade. But I do. She is my mother and I will always love her. If you take me away from her, she will commit suicide. There is no doubt in my mind. I'm already scared every time I see her asleep on the couch that she has taken sleeping pills. I can't believe how little you care about what I think. Or feel. What any of us think or feel. Cry some more you big freaking faggot I don't give a crap at all. You DID choose this, you were a physically and emotionally abusive husband, you caused her to be this way. She was strong, and she was a good parents but years or your erosive qualites took that away from her. You broke her. You caused her to be what she is now. I haven't and wont ever forgive you for everything you've done.


"Goodnight. Love you too."

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I didn't want two whiny blogs, so I'll just add on to this one.

You've given me little, now you give nothing. You think only of yourself even though there's four other people you should be more concerened about. I try to tell you how I feel sometimes and you just ake fun of me, or tell me to shut up. I know that you don't know what teachers I have, my views on things, who my friends are other than one who you only know about because she was around back when you were a somewhat decent person, my favorite food/color/anything, or in general who I am anymore. All you talk to me about anymore is how much you hate him and when I try to change the subject or come right out and say I don't want to talk about that anymore you think I'm siding with him. Now you're not home, you don't care what happens to us. You want us to go away. You think you're fooling us, but you're not. Ten years from now, when maybe you've corrected yourself, you're going to despise yourself for everything you've done but more so everything you haven't.


Everything you do is out of hatred for him. Everything you do is out of hatred for her.I just don't know what made you both stop caring about what is best for your children, the people you created. I don't know what made you stop loving us, but you did.