Hmmm. Too many people that I vaguley am aware of have blogspots now, I can't just ramble on about whatever I'm thinking....actually, screw it, I don't really care.

So, she didn't come home AGAIN last night, and she's still not back. This is the longest we've gone without contact, we haven't even gotten any texts from her because she forgot to or wasn't able to pay her cell phone bill, big surprise. I think the best thing to do when this happens is just not think about it, it either makes me sad or mad, but either way it makes me worried as hell. It just makes me remember all those times when I was younger and it was always either one or the other gone and Ashleigh and Phoebe would take care of us, and they'd come stumbling in at around 5 in the morning, and Ashleigh and Phoebe would miss school because it was too unsafe for them to drive them to school. Maybe that's why I have such a problem with trusting people and worrying so excessively, because that's what it's been for around seven years. Me, staying up all night in the dark, praying to God that they're okay, and imagining the worst things happening to them, and them not giving a shit and handing us little half-assed apologies, excuses and lies so we could fool ourselves into thinking it wasn't going to happen again, and they cared what it did to us all.
Not that they're so great when they're around anyways. Ecspecially her. Whatever, I sound all melodramtic and faggoty. Who am I to complain when I seriously have so much? No one, that's who.

Anyways, besides that life's pretty good. That's a sucky transitioning sentence, but, eh, what can you do. You know, my theory on this whole thing is, everything that you feel (i.e. we're drifing, you're being left behing etc., etc.) is valid, but I think alot of it stems just from you convincing yourself we are, and then that makes you act weird which in turn makes me act weird and we end up with yesterday. All in all, just...don't complicate everything. Things are so much better when you stop obsessing over things. Not that you're obsessed with it, you just think too much(:
I'm excited because Ashleigh's coming into town today and it's been a long time since I've seen her. I didn't think I would miss her too much, but our whole family structure changed when she left and it was just weird. Plus, Ashleigh was always the sister I got on with best and me and her are more similar than Phoebe and I, so I kind of miss having her around. Phoebe is really cool too, she just is so stubborn and relentlessly herself in everything that she does that it's intimidating to tell her something for fear of her a.) making fun of it or b.)disagreeing with it in the extreme or c.) dragging it up when we're fighting and making me feel all bad.
When it comes to school, all is pretty much as well as it will be. I find I don't care at all anymore, and that actually has helped me do more than incoherantly mumble to people, so now I converse at school, to people I just met this year! It's pretty crazy.